Skip to content

What the Doctor Said

It was several years ago. He was in the doctor’s office for major back pain he was having every time his running mileage got up to 12 miles. 

He had just said something to the doctor. He can’t remember what it was. But there are artifacts from the encounter, as he did scribble a note to himself soon afterwards… 

“You don’t have a butt,” the doctor replied.

Initially surprised by the remark, he found himself envisioning what his butt-less self might look like from behind. This, in turn, brought up memories of a nickname that never quite stuck: Droopy-Drawers. (Years of jeans from Farm-And-Fleet as a kid could not have helped.) He now had a visual for that nickname.

I don’t know about you, but if someone tells me that I have no butt, I take that to mean, “You’re butt’s not big,” which is unarguably a good thing. He responded accordingly.

“Thank you, doctor!”

Yet at that very moment, he found his mind wandering to the merits of Blue Bell Moollennium Crunch ice cream.