{"id":3407,"date":"2015-03-08T17:27:01","date_gmt":"2015-03-08T23:27:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/augerhandle.net\/blogs\/jumpingfish\/?p=3407"},"modified":"2015-03-08T17:27:01","modified_gmt":"2015-03-08T23:27:01","slug":"what-the-doctor-said","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/augerhandle.net\/blogs\/jumpingfish\/2015\/03\/08\/what-the-doctor-said\/","title":{"rendered":"What the Doctor Said"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cYour problem,\u201d the doctor told me, \u201cis that you have no butt.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Well, I thought. That\u2019s a fine thing. And now maybe I can go get me a gallon of <a href=\"http:\/\/www.bluebell.com\/IceCreamFlavor?fid=24\">Moo-llennium Crunch<\/a>. That\u2019s what I was thinking, but then she added something about the next phase of therapy focusing on building up my gluteal muscles. And of course at that moment my fantasies of the ice cream \u2026 well, they melted away.<\/p>\n<p>You see, she\u2019s a sports doctor, and <em>no butt<\/em> to her means <em>no muscles<\/em> and \u2026 well, I am admittedly deficient in that regard but sadly not in regards to rest of it.<\/p>\n<p>And so, oh well. No ice cream for me!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cYour problem,\u201d the doctor told me, \u201cis that you have no butt.&#8221; Well, I thought. That\u2019s a fine thing. And now maybe I can go get me a gallon of Moo-llennium Crunch. That\u2019s what I was thinking, but then she added something about the next phase of therapy focusing on building up my gluteal muscles. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/augerhandle.net\/blogs\/jumpingfish\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3407"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/augerhandle.net\/blogs\/jumpingfish\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/augerhandle.net\/blogs\/jumpingfish\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/augerhandle.net\/blogs\/jumpingfish\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/augerhandle.net\/blogs\/jumpingfish\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3407"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/augerhandle.net\/blogs\/jumpingfish\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3407\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3408,"href":"https:\/\/augerhandle.net\/blogs\/jumpingfish\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3407\/revisions\/3408"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/augerhandle.net\/blogs\/jumpingfish\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3407"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/augerhandle.net\/blogs\/jumpingfish\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3407"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/augerhandle.net\/blogs\/jumpingfish\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3407"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}