1. They Figured It Out
“Mister,” she said from the back of the room, trying to get my attention above the hubbub of the five minutes between periods. “Mister!”
“Yes?” I said from where I was standing with my seating roster.
“I know how old you are, Mister.”
I stopped taking attendance.
“How old am I?”
“I found you on a white pages site,” she said. “You are sixty.”
I smiled and nodded. “I am sixty.”
They had finally outed me.
2. A Better Theory
“Mister,” she said the next day as I was passing out papers.
“Yes?” I said.
“Did you work out when you were young?”
“What?” I walked toward her desk. “Did I work out!?”
“You don’t look sixty, Mister” she said. “You must have worked out when you were young.”
I started to say something about running. But the girl sitting next to her smiled a slight smile. She had a better theory.
“He must use some kind of creme!” she said. She could barely say it without laughing, which they all immediately did.